I just want a Crunchwrap Supreme (1)

A fucking Crunchwrap Supreme. That’s all I want. It’s 3am on July 4th Eve, and there’s no freaking food place open after midnight in South Bend, short of Steak N’ Shake. Say you’re hungry, and it’s pushing 1am on a Monday. But this isn’t any ordinary Monday. This is Monday, July 3rd. The day before America celebrates her 230th birthday. A night where I don’t have to go in to work the next day. And I’m still hungry. Mmmmm….some pizza would be killer. But fucking Pizza Hut won’t deliver, it’s closed. Papa Johns is closed, too. Same for Dominos. Where in the blue hell do people get late night food around here?!? Where is Gumby’s? So then, after awhile striking out, on to Taco Bell. 2:45am. Two cars ahead in line at the drive-thru. They pull through, I pull up, and wait 5-10 minutes for someone to take my order. After multiple curse words and being pissed off, I say to hell with it and pull up to the window. The bastards close at 2am! What the hell?!? Sure, it’s Monday…but it’s a holiday Monday. Doesn’t that mean anything?

So Steak N’ Shake, my mistress, I eventually end up with you, like always. You’re there, 24/7, with your greasy steakburgers and mediocre fries. Do you hit the spot?